Substance use disorders (SUDs) are still stigmatized in our society. Unfortunately, the stigma can make getting honest, reliable information and resources difficult if you or a loved one is struggling. Though this situation is improving, there is still work to be done.
As a result, many people who have never encountered SUDs do not realize that substance use disorders do not just impact the individual but their family and friends as well. Loved ones of a person with a SUD must go on their own journeys of healing as they learn to rebuild trust, shed prejudices, abstain from enabling, and work on themselves and their relationships as their loved ones heal.
The path toward recovery is difficult for all involved, and the support of loved ones is an essential component of reaching long-term recovery. However, in order to offer or receive healthy support, it is important to understand how substance use disorders can impact those loved ones. The team at Recovery Cove offers comprehensive, judgment-free resources to those on the path to recovery as well as their families, including this brief guide.
What Is Substance Use Disorder?
Substance use disorder is a mental health disorder that involves an individual's inability to control or cease substance use despite the presence of negative consequences. In many cases, this involves an individual using street drugs, alcohol, or prescription medications without being able to stop.
Many of those who experience substance use disorder realize the harm that the substance is causing to their minds and bodies but are unable to control their usage. This can lead to problems performing day-to-day tasks such as working, taking care of themselves, upholding parental responsibilities, or spending quality time with family. As SUD worsens, it can lead to unemployment, relationship issues, neglect or abuse, and more.
What Role Does Family Play in Addiction?
Though substance use disorder affects the family in many ways, which we will discuss, the family may also play a role in influencing or creating the disordered behaviors. Substance use disorders are closely related to genetics, meaning that they can "run in the family." If a family has a history of a substance use disorder, current and future generations are more likely to struggle as well.
A family environment that is stressful or unstable can also contribute to an individual's tendency to use illicit substances or misuse prescription medications. Chronic stress and anxiety can also lead to substance use disorder or disordered habits. Those who experience stress at home are more likely to develop a substance use disorder in the short and long term.
Finally, as mentioned, family support is important to the individual’s long-term recovery. The components of effective family support will be discussed later.
What Is the Impact of a Substance Use Disorder on a Family and Relationships?
Though a family can certainly contribute to an individual’s substance use habits, the crux of substance use disorder ultimately rests on the person with SUD. Meanwhile, the habits and behaviors displayed by the individual can significantly impact the family. In this way, one individual who experiences substance use disorder can have a ripple effect on a large group of people, including parents, children, siblings, grandparents, aunts and uncles, friends, workmates, and more.
The ways substance use disorder can affect the family are numerous and complex. The individual impact depends on the person’s relationship with the individual struggling with addiction. Learn more about the impacts of SUD on family members.
Spouse or Partner
Substance use disorder often heavily impacts intimate relations, such as those with a partner or spouse. This is typically because of their close proximity and continuous involvement with the afflicted individual. In most intimate partnerships, avoiding or ignoring the results of a substance use disorder is difficult.
SUD affects partners in many ways. Perhaps the most dangerous of these is the increased likelihood of intimate partner violence. Though not all individuals with SUD turn to violence while they are under the influence, there is a higher-than-normal risk that they will act out of anger, resentment, or distaste. These emotions may stem from any number of places, but intimate partners are often on the receiving end of any violent outbursts.
Substance use disorder generally leads to a lower quality of interaction between spouses. When one individual is under the influence of a controlled substance, it can become difficult to have serious conversations, connect emotionally, have sex or otherwise engage in intimacy, and more. An inability to participate in these basic relationship necessities can lead to strained relationships and dissatisfaction in a marriage or serious partnership. SUD can similarly affect a spouse’s perception of their partner, leading to a diminished desire to engage in intimacy or even participate in daily interactions.
The impact of SUD on a spouse will also depend on whether the couple shares children. If they do, the substance use can leave the other spouse to perform an inflated percentage of daily household and childcare tasks. Unequal parental contributions or even poor parenting may lead to resentment or other problems within a partnership.
Children
Children are naturally dependent on their parents and can be significantly affected by a parent’s choices and behaviors. However, the children of a person with a substance use disorder can be extremely negatively impacted, even if their other parent remains sober. Some of the effects appear right away as the child experiences them, while others cause trauma that takes years to fully develop.
Parents with substance use disorders often have difficulty providing a stable home for their children. There are often disruptions in routine, and the child may grow up with a sense of unease or unsettlement. Many children in SUD households grow up without a clear sense of what adult communication should be, and natural roles can become reversed. The household’s finances may be jeopardized by the parent’s SUD, creating a financial vulnerability that impacts the child’s social life and education. This can impact their emotional development, leading to mental health disorders and other ongoing psychological issues.
Childhood relationships are the foundation for further relationships later in life. If a child is shown stability, boundaries, and healthy communication when they are young, they are likely to seek these qualities in their future spouse, friends, and loved ones. However, if a child grows up in an environment that lacks healthy habits and relationships, they may seek out what they knew as they grew up. In this way, SUDs can cause generational issues if left unchecked.
Finally, because of the genetic component of substance use disorders, children of a person with SUD may struggle with substance use as well. If not given the tools to break the cycle, the child may then pass this behavior on to their own children.
Siblings
In some cases, substance use disorders do not appear until adulthood. In other scenarios, they present in adolescence. Regardless of when it fully appears, many people who develop a SUD show behavioral signs during childhood and teenage years.
This condition heavily impacts the siblings of a person with a substance use disorder. Often, parents of a person with SUD focus on their needs while ignoring or delaying the needs of the child’s siblings. Siblings often feel neglected, angry, lonely, or unimportant in these situations. They may receive less attention than their sibling and may even face stereotypes or assumptions at school and in the community because of their sibling’s condition.
The siblings of a person with a substance use disorder may also assume the caretaker role, depending on the family circumstances and dynamics. Taking on this role can cause physical and psychological damage to the siblings, while their needs will likely remain unmet by the parents who focus on their child with SUD. In some situations, this means that a young child is performing care tasks far too mature for their psychological development. It can also mean a younger sibling caring for an older sibling, a prime example of the role confusion that often stems from substance use disorders.
Parents
Parents of individuals with substance use disorder face countless effects of their child’s illness, both physically and mentally. People with substance use disorders may be manipulative or difficult during their teenage years, regardless of whether their condition has fully manifested. Many teenagers experiment with substances, which can be the beginning of a SUD. Teenagers with developing substance use disorder may lie, deceive, or even steal from their parents. The manipulation may begin in small ways but often escalates as the condition worsens.
Unfortunately, many parents feel guilty or blame themselves for their child’s behavior. This is not a fair or logical thought process. Substance use disorders are not a parent’s fault. Regardless of the reality, parents of people with substance use disorders feel responsible for what has happened to their children.
As a consequence, some parents feel embarrassed about their child’s lifestyles. They may try to excuse their child’s behavior or hide them from their friends and community to combat this feeling. These strong feelings can lead to low self-esteem for parents, which diminishes their ability to support their children on their healing journey.
Many parents of children with SUD remain in a caretaker role far longer than they normally would. Accordingly, many people with substance use disorders rely on their parents and family well into adulthood, which can prevent parents from entering age-appropriate stages of life, such as empty nesting and retirement.
