Owning Your Abstinence: How To Tell People You Don’t Drink

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You feel as though you have conquered a mountain in your recovery from alcohol use disorder, but you are not unrealistic. You understand it may take only one sip to potentially send you into a downward spiral of dependence once again.

This is the reason you have adopted a culture of abstinence for your future.

However, drinking seems to be the norm in almost any social situation. So how do you tell people you don’t drink without having to launch into your past story?

Keep reading for suggestions and tips to maintain your abstinence without awkward interactions or feelings that you need to succumb to social pressures.

Table of Contents

Why Is It So Hard To Tell People You Don’t Drink?

There are many reasons that it may be difficult to tell people you don’t drink, but it usually comes down to two basic principles:

  • Your perception of how people will respond, which may include:
    • Fear of judgement
    • Fear of rejection
    • Social triggers from stigma and shame
    • Others not understanding your new behavior and lifestyle
    • Uncomfortable confrontations with family or prior friends
  • Your complex history of substance use disorder, that can encompass:
    • Temptation and your daily struggle to maintain sobriety
    • Fear of potential returns to prior habits
    • Rewiring of your brain to function without alcohol

When you have committed to alcohol abstinence, it is a daily practice of strengthening your resolve and embracing your new life.

How To Overcome the Fear of Rejection

For many people, it is difficult, or almost impossible, to socialize without having a few drinks. The decision to stop drinking is often perceived as the end of a social life. It doesn’t have to be, however, and you can stop drinking without losing your friends or ending your social life.

What are some secrets to separating the need to drink from general socialization, you ask? Here are some suggestions:

  • Be honest with yourself regarding the way peer pressure can negatively impact your life related to alcohol.
  • Consider pursuing new circles of friends that do not drink, especially if your prior friends continue to pressure you towards drinking, even after you have communicated a desire to abstain.
  • Explore and develop coping mechanisms for social anxiety, such as:
    • Deep breathing
    • Grounding
    • Challenging negative thoughts
    • Directing your attention toward others and away from yourself
  • Frequently revisit your motives for deciding to cut back on alcohol, including how your life has changed for the better without it.

How To Overcome the Struggle for Sobriety

Sobriety needs to be a priority and an intentional choice, not an afterthought or coincidence, and it can be a difficult road.

Maintaining sobriety may include conscious, daily decisions to:

  • Remind yourself of the need for sobriety
  • Seek treatment programs and aftercare
  • Contact supportive friends, family, or professionals for help when necessary

For recovery to be effective, it must be an integral part of your daily life. This does not mean your whole identity revolves around recovery, but it does mean choosing sobriety daily.

Understanding how to get sober and stay sober in recovery can be demanding, and both mentally and physically exhausting. Doing it with the support of professionals makes it more manageable and increases your chances of success.

If you or a loved one is ready to seek and maintain sobriety, Recovery Cove offers a range of services and treatments tailored to your needs. Contact us today to begin your journey toward sobriety.

how to tell people you don't drink

6 Practical Tips for Telling People You Don’t Drink

#1: Plan Ahead

Paying attention to your behavior and learning to recognize the situations, people, or environments that threaten your sobriety can help you plan ahead.

For example, learning to recognize a behavior or interaction that could result in a relapse can help you develop ways to cope with or manage similar situations.

It’s easier to develop coping strategies when you understand your triggers.

Planning ahead can include establishing lifestyle changes and setting clear boundaries as needed.

#2: Learn To Think of Your Refusal as Your Choice

Refusing to drink is your choice and nobody else’s.

Considering your abstinence as a choice made by someone else can cause feelings of resentment and may ultimately result in a relapse if the decision is not your own.

When recovering from alcohol use disorder and choosing to change your future, it allows you to embrace it with sole responsibility.

#3: Be Firm But Respectful

Be firm, polite, and respectful, but unwavering, when telling people you don’t drink.

Verbal and body language can communicate that you are not willing to budge on your choice. Make direct eye contact, respond without hesitation, and keep your responses simple and clear.

how to tell people you no longer drink

#4: Word Your Refusal Politely, Clearly, and Without Apology

A simple refusal without a lengthy explanation should be sufficient.

If people press further, you can respectfully express your preference to them with a polite, but firm answer, such as:

  • “No, thank you.”
  • “I am the designated driver.”
  • “I drove by myself.”
  • “I have plans early tomorrow morning.”

Changing the subject of the conversation may also be helpful, along with choosing to be honest and forthcoming by simply stating that you are in recovery.

#5: Have a Non-Alcoholic Drink in Your Hand

Help yourself to a non-alcoholic drink immediately upon your arrival to an event or gathering.

Chances are, people will not feel obligated to offer you a drink if you already have one in your hand.

#6: Inform the Host You’ll Not Be Drinking

Depending on the situation, you can inform your host that you will not be drinking. This way, your host can inform others not to offer you alcohol, which avoids the discomfort of repeatedly declining offers throughout the gathering.

how to tell people you stopped drinking

Strengthen Your Resolve To Say No at Recovery Cove

At Recovery Cove, our mission is to assist individuals in their recovery from substance use disorder by providing experienced, knowledgeable, professional care in an environment free from judgment.

Long-term recovery starts with a personalized treatment plan that takes into consideration all your unique needs. 

Our individualized treatment plans include:

If you or a loved one is struggling with a substance use disorder, the professionals at Recovery Cove in Pennsylvania are here to help. Our comprehensive programs, along with nurturing and compassionate support, can help you achieve and maintain sobriety.

how to tell people you don't drink

The content in this blog is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.